From Shallowing to ENM: The New Language of Sex and Relationships
Talking openly about sex helps to break down stigma and build a healthier, more informed culture. Each year, new trends emerge that show how people’s relationships with sex and intimacy are changing. Whether it's about pleasure, identity, or communication, these shifts reflect the evolving needs and values of diverse communities.
Here are five emerging sex trends shaping the conversation in 2025.
1. Shallowing: Redefining Penetration and Pleasure
“Shallowing” is gaining attention as a form of sexual connection that centres on minimal or surface-level penetration. While it can be penetrative, it often involves stimulation just within the entrance of the vagina or vulva. For many, it’s less about going deeper and more about staying connected, comfortable, and in control.
This approach is often favoured by people who experience pain during sex (such as those with vaginismus or endometriosis), those navigating trauma recovery, or simply people who want to slow down and explore different kinds of touch.
Why it matters: It challenges the default script that “real sex” must involve deep penetration and instead opens the door for more diverse, affirming experiences of pleasure.
2. Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM): Making Space for Multiple Loves
Conversations about open relationships, polyamory, and relationship anarchy are no longer fringe — they’re part of the mainstream sexual health conversation. ENM refers to any relationship structure where people openly and consensually agree to have more than one romantic or sexual partner.
People exploring ENM often prioritise emotional honesty, healthy boundaries, and regular communication. It’s not a free-for-all; it’s a choice based on values like autonomy, trust, and mutual care.
Why it matters: ENM reminds us that relationships are not one-size-fits-all — and that communication, not exclusivity, is the cornerstone of healthy intimacy.
3. Autosexuality: Finding Desire Within
Autosexual people experience sexual attraction primarily toward themselves. That doesn’t mean they never want a partner — but their strongest sense of desire might be triggered by self-connection, mirror play, or masturbation. It’s a valid orientation for some, and for others, it’s a way to explore solo pleasure without shame.
As this term gains visibility online, more people are finding language for something they may have always felt but never named.
Why it matters: Embracing autosexuality expands our understanding of desire. It validates the idea that sexuality doesn’t have to be about another person — it can begin with self-love and acceptance.
4. Sex as Self-Care: The Wellness Revolution Comes to the Bedroom
Pleasure is no longer seen as a guilty indulgence — it’s increasingly viewed as an important part of wellbeing. From guided masturbation apps, mindful sex and body-safe toys to sensual yoga and “pleasure mapping,” more people are building sexual exploration into their self-care routines.
For many, this is a reclaiming of joy — especially for people living with trauma, stress, or chronic illness.
Why it matters: By linking pleasure to mental and physical health, we give people permission to explore their bodies with curiosity and kindness — not shame or secrecy.
5. Tech-Enhanced Intimacy: New Tools for Connection (and Complication)
Technology continues to reshape how people relate to each other sexually. From AI-generated erotic content and sexting etiquette to long-distance teledildonics (yes, that’s a thing), we’re entering new territory when it comes to digital intimacy.
Teledildonics refers to internet-connected sex toys that allow people to control each other’s devices remotely — often used by long-distance couples to maintain physical intimacy across miles.
Some are exploring relationships with AI “companions” or creating safe online spaces for self-expression. But it also raises new questions around consent, safety, and the emotional risks of blurring reality with fantasy.
Why it matters: Tech isn't replacing human connection — but it is redefining the rules. It’s crucial we continue having open, honest conversations about what healthy, respectful digital intimacy looks like.
Final Thoughts
Sexual health isn’t just about preventing infections or unplanned pregnancies — it’s about understanding and celebrating the full range of human intimacy, identity, and connection. These trends may not appeal to everyone, but they highlight a clear truth: people are thinking more deeply about what pleasure means to them.
As always, we encourage curiosity, compassion, and open, honest conversations about sex and relationships. If you've ever searched for something and felt unsure, embarrassed, or isolated — you're not alone. There’s no age limit, identity, or experience level that disqualifies you from learning, asking questions, or discovering what feels right for you.